Im finding myself in a moral dilemma- admit I attempted to see this movie last night at the pains of embarrassment in order offer a warning to society, or not say anything and let innocent blog readers go for the same reason I did: Boredom combined with curiosity, sorta like the time I thought it would be a good idea to try Wasabe + Soy Sauce Flavored Almonds, a decision I regret to this day. Lesson learned.

I loved JAWS, it’s a classic. I think I went with the hopes of a silly grade B movie, with some good laughs. Pirhana 3D was absolutely awful. It made the Expendables look like a multiple academy award winning flick and Sylvester Stallone as a genius screenplay writer. I struggle to think of a worse movie I have ever attempted to see.

In fact, as much as I struggle, I do not think the English language is capable of adequately describing the stupefaction this movie is capable of inflicting. It was absolutely heart breaking to see all the fun memories of Elizabeth Shue movies (Karate Kid, the Adventures of Baby Sitting for example) whisk-fully flushed down the toilet. (I still cannot believe she was in it).

People who make movies like this should be thrown into prison. The one in Guantánamo Bay. Why? Because they are mind terrorists.

DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. EVER. Even the edited for television version bound to come out in 2 years. It is absolute trash.

You will regret it, like me, if you do.