We want a comfortable lifestyle, maybe a consistent income, security, not having to worry about going to “war” with the world so to speak. It’s so easy to find that comfort zone and ever so slowly, once we have it, begin to rot away. We become obsessed with our comfort levels to the point of not wanting to take risks, grow, or improve on what we have.
This past week I have noticed something I call: The Pain to Action Threshold, which is the point where pain is so great, that the individual takes action to solve it.
I am coming to realize, being patient while suffering and being fearful while suffering are the same things. We may simply tell ourselves we are being patient because taking action would make us “uncomfortable”, which is really fear. Action may cause us to think, work, invent, create, grow, etc and that might take a lot of work.
I remember a situation when I was locked out. I was able to call the locksmith, and as I sat waiting for him, I began to fume with anger at myself, him, the key, the door, my landlord, my neighbor, being late for a meeting and the cat curiously watching me fume.
I was so angry I considered kicking the door in (crossing that threshold) and suddenly, it occurred to me that if I really wanted to, I could get in, even if it meant breaking the door. I decided there might be another way. All I had besides my phone were a few pieces of paper. As soon as I stood up, I realized I may be able to pick the lock using the paper I had, if it was folded just right. I know this sounds crazy, but in about 10 minutes, I was able to actually pick my lock with the paper! Upon inspecting the door later, the gap was so tight I realized nothing else would have worked.
Reflect your own actions with respect to pain on either side of this threshold and you will see an astonishing difference in behavior.
On one side, you are hiding, don’t want to face the truth, sometimes angry, always fearful, clinging, ever clinging, like a pathetic slug to this desire of not wanting to step out of a comfort zone, allowing life push you around every which direction.
On the other, you have accepted the cause of the pain, believe you have it in you power to solve the pain, and are acting with complete faith you will either cure it, or die trying.
Same person, different mentality simply because you have crossed an invisible line in your mind. I see now this very thing happened to me when I decided to quit my PhD program despite a huge investment of time and money.
Life would be much more enjoyable if we could always think on the action side of this line, and not have to have pain push us over there. Your potential to act is unlimited, and it is only ourselves to blame when we do not take action. Fight the urge to blame others, crush the consideration that you are a victim of circumstance. Know you have full power to either solve it once and for all, or die trying. Refuse to be “patient” in pain. The tools are all there, pain is just life’s way of pushing us there.
Pain is a mirror. It reflects our cowardice to action. Only when we see it as a mirror and not a window, can we cross the threshold.
We want a comfortable lifestyle, maybe a consistent income, security, not having to worry about going to “war” with the world so to speak. It’s so easy to find that comfort zone and ever so slowly, once we have it, begin to rot away. We become obsessed with our comfort levels to the point of not wanting to take risks, grow, or improve on what we have.
This past week I have noticed something I call: The Pain to Action Threshold, which is the point where pain is so great, that the individual takes action to solve it.
I am coming to realize, being patient while suffering and being fearful while suffering are the same things. We may simply tell ourselves we are being patient because taking action would make us “uncomfortable”, which is really fear. Action may cause us to think, work, invent, create, grow, etc and that might take a lot of work.
I remember a situation when I was locked out. I was able to call the locksmith, and as I sat waiting for him, I began to fume with anger at myself, him, the key, the door, my landlord, my neighbor, being late for a meeting and the cat curiously watching me fume.
I was so angry I considered kicking the door in (crossing that threshold) and suddenly, it occurred to me that if I really wanted to, I could get in, even if it meant breaking the door. I decided there might be another way. All I had besides my phone were a few pieces of paper. As soon as I stood up, I realized I may be able to pick the lock using the paper I had, if it was folded just right. I know this sounds crazy, but in about 10 minutes, I was able to actually pick my lock with the paper! Upon inspecting the door later, the gap was so tight I realized nothing else would have worked.
Reflect your own actions with respect to pain on either side of this threshold and you will see an astonishing difference in behavior.
On one side, you are hiding, don’t want to face the truth, sometimes angry, always fearful, clinging, ever clinging, like a pathetic slug to this desire of not wanting to step out of a comfort zone, allowing life push you around every which direction.
On the other, you have accepted the cause of the pain, believe you have it in you power to solve the pain, and are acting with complete faith you will either cure it, or die trying.
Same person, different mentality simply because you have crossed an invisible line in your mind. I see now this very thing happened to me when I decided to quit my PhD program despite a huge investment of time and money.
Life would be much more enjoyable if we could always think on the action side of this line, and not have to have pain push us over there. Your potential to act is unlimited, and it is only ourselves to blame when we do not take action. Fight the urge to blame others, crush the consideration that you are a victim of circumstance. Know you have full power to either solve it once and for all, or die trying. Refuse to be “patient” in pain. The tools are all there, pain is just life’s way of pushing us there.
Pain is a mirror. It reflects our cowardice to action. Only when we see it as a mirror and not a window, can we cross the threshold.
While I would agree on a certain level, I must say that not all pain is like this.
There are so many ways to feel pain it would be wrong to summarize it entirely. We determine the degree of all our pain subconsciously, self inflicted or not- even when someone else hurts us- it can reflect an inferior ability to deal with it…
In what way were you thinking Kim? Tell me…..
I don’t necessarily agree with pain=cowardice. I mean if you lose a loved a one you suffer right? It isn’t physical pain but an emotional one. I suppose it IS up to you on how you truly deal with the loss; however, I don’t think it cowardly to mourn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you weren’t saying that. It just sounded like you were generalizing "pain". That’s all.
The death of a loved one is a perfect illustration…we suffer the until the pain pushes us to subconsciously deal with it. We may not be able to recognize when it happens, but as with all deaths…the mourner gets to a point when they are ready to move on…some sooner than later. That point is the threshold I was trying to describe. Something clicks inside and the person can deal with the pain. Why? They have reached a point when they are prepared to deal with what happened.
You are right to assume I wasnt calling mourners cowards, what I was saying was pain is lifes way of indicating something isnt right. It demands a call for action. Most of us hesitate to find a solution. It is a tough pill to swallow….knowing that pain is indicating a weakness inside you.
True pain is inseparably tied to our core attitudes. If you want to really know what someone is like…see them deal with pain.
Why do we mourn the death of a loved one? What is the reason for this pain?
Thank you for your insight Kim. Im open to anyone’s thoughts on this.
And that my friend I would agree with. 🙂