For the love of all things good and worth watching…please….I beg of you, listen to me and know- this is not one of them. This is not an attempt to lower your expectations, this is an attempt to save you 2 hours of your life and $10 per head. Single words I can use to describe it:

1. Painful
2. Stupefying
3. Shock (at how bad it is)
4. Regret
5. Agony
6. Surf Internet with Phone (ok I know thats not one word)
7. Sleep
8. Awkward
9. Torture
10. Humor (and the kind that wasnt intended, the kind that comes from something being so awful).

I am truly in awe of how far Rob Cohen as fallen, he is so talented. It hurt to watch Brenden Fraiser squeak out such awful dialog (and he had the best lines that I saw). The actors playing his son and wife (yes, Evie is played by another woman, not Rachel Weiz) are truly horrible.

In one last ditch effort to save you this pain, just remember, I watched all of Indiana Jones- My friend Blair and I walked out about halfway through on Mummy 3 (I was ready to go at 20 minutes). Now I know many of you are not going to listen to me and go and see the movie anyway, just remember I tried to warn you.