I had an epiphany today, it was quite an eye opener. Im not even really sure how to express what I am feeling but I will try. Ive been spending a lot of time brainstorming this cross country photo-shoot extravaganza. Its overwhelming- tons of things to co-ordinate and plan, and while the response so far has been fantastic, I was feeling intimidated with how this is all going to play out. The lessons will be fantastic, Im not worried about that, I was more worried about logistics, things like which city to have it in, how will I find locations to teach/shoot, timing, how much to charge, how long it will take, etc.
In the back of my mind and….I hate to confess this (to the point of feeling personally embarrassed)…I was wanting some help in getting it all put together and starting to doubt if this was going to happen, unless someone stepped up. As I was fretting over the details, I heard the voice from the movie Field of Dreams “If you build it…they will come.” Cheesy…yes- yet so applicable. If I take a chance, put some risk into it, the workshops will fill up and Ill eventually I will find the resources I need to make it all happen. It is a CRAZYYYYY idea (not just the workshops, but the 50+ free shoots, and everything else involved with it).
I remembered the whole situation when I quit the lab and decided to make the photography school. It was an internal desire I had, I was going to do it whether it worked or not, with or without help. I had an epiphany the too, and in that very moment, I sat down and wrote on a piece of paper “My name is Michael Andrew and I am a plant”. I know this sounds weird but to a biologist, what this means is I wanted to see myself as something that provided life to others by converting raw energy (ideas) into something useful (a photography school) that everyone could benefit from. Once I did this, I understood my role, consciously worked with this in mind and everything really fell into place.
I think everyone, YES, EVERYONE, is a genius or gifted at something, to the same degree that Michael Jordan was at basketball. A tragedy in life is that sometimes we don’t consciously understand what gifts we have or why the heck we are on this planet. We may still exercise flashes of these gifts, but without knowing what they are…its hard to really exploit them.
You live differently when you finally understand what your role in life is and then consciously accept it with all of your heart. It may not be what you hoped it would be, but when you find it, you will know it is right. It is sort of like walking down a dark path you can barely see, slowly moving forward a foot at a time, and then, after getting to a certain point that you never could have gotten to without groveling around for all this time, you can see the rest of the path and where it leads, and say…”Oh…..I get it now….” then start walking forward with confidence, knowing exactly where you are going.
This experience I had today, feels like it is building on the “plant” experience and….its something I’m still getting used to. Like the plant is growing a new branch or something. I feel a little uncomfortable with consciously accepting this idea, but I think its something that I was meant to do, so its time to step up and fill the shoes.
You may be shocked and think “He didnt know that?” and I answer “No…I didnt” at least not on a conscious level. I hope you dont lose too much respect for me, I just never really saw it this way. I feel so silly for not understanding this sooner. Id also like to add that I have no intention in abusing this, and intend to fulfill this role is through service. I hope this clarifies exactly what I mean when I say:
“My name is Michael Andrew and I am a Leader.”
Looking forward to following this trail of service and learning. Sounds like you have a completely amazing year shaping up! Absolutley would be up for a family shoot, and would be up for helping as an organizer as well. One day at a time though – enjoy the journey – sounds exciting!
Michael….if you come up to NH I know right off the top of 3 people who would be so willing to help you out and learn from you! You are a leader!
I was going to put like a novel here in the comments section but I’ve decided to make it into a blog post on my post.
I have a question and is a problem I’m sure most have in their life and why they stay in an unhappy situation. How do you get over the fear of rejection?
Kim- I know this may sound a bit morbid, but it works: Learn to embrace the consequences of failure and rejection, if you can live with them, its so much easier to try because you have no expectations to be shattered.
What was the "novel" all about?
just got me thinking of all the things I haven’t done because of fear, i posted about it on my blog if you wanted to find out what i meant by novel haha. I don’t think it would’ve been good to write all that down in your comments. made a better blog post
I believe going after what we desire and dealing with the consequences bad or good is far better than having to ask at the end of one’s life, "What if?" I love that you are always moving forward no matter what challenge you might be facing. Just look at the following you have of people who just know you from being online. Imagine how many more people you will be able to capture when they meet you in person. I think people are drawn to you, because of your positive thinking and great social skills.
I like what you wrote and I agree you are a leader and some times it is ok to doubt some of the adventures that you would like to do. This is part of the fun of chanllenging yourself. Good work and keep it up.
Thank you everyone- I appreciate your kind words! Thanks Kim for the blog post, that meant a lot to me. 🙂
what are friends for?!
have fun on your adventures and traveling through every state! that’s an awesome plan!
Lose respect for ya, what are you kidding, you’re Michael The Maven!
I think I speak for everyone here and think you have an amazing talent. Just by willing to teach everyone that wants to know, what you know. Your experience, the tricks of the trade, etc.
You’re going to do just fine!
Thank you for your hard work…!