Lesson 1- What to call your man

Im not married and lack certain life experiences for my opinion to be respected on certain matters. However, my profession requires me to work with dozens of couples every year, all of whom are madly in love with each other. I am careful to observe as many details and dynamics between couples, and (at least in my own mind) I am an expert on relationships. Im pretty much like a marriage counselor, only I dont do any talking, I just listen and watch.

Guys, you can chime in and say what you think about this, including additional names I have missed.

Women, if you think I am crazy (which I know most of you do) please at least try this out and see what type of response you get. You will notice the man in your life standing a little taller, walking a little more confident and feeling better about himself overall.

Pet Names you should not call the man in your life:

My Little Pumpkin Head
Sweet Pea
Honey Pie
Cuddle Muffin (where in the world do you ladies come up with these things?)
My Angel Boy
My Teddy Bear / Tickle me Elmo / Big Bird
Baby Cakes, Baby Buns, Baby Face, anything in addition to Baby. While “Baby” in and of itself is occasionally acceptable, the man in your life will respond much more positively to “Daddy”. (Not many men are brave enough to admit this).

Pet Names you should call the man in your life, at least once if not all the time:

Joe Montana (Joe works good too)
Conan The Destroyer
King Lord (insert first name here)
Master Jedi (insert first name here)
James (as in Bond) side note: you have to say this in a pleasantly surprised tone or else it wont work.
Bach, Mozart, or any other genius composer (but not Einstein!)
Chairman of the Board
Mr. President (of the United States of America)


I forgot a couple:

C4 (as in the plastic explosive)