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  • Michael mention about a question, an uncomfortable question that you should make a part of your life – 0:14
  • Questions can clear up miscommunications – 01:41

Good morning everyone! Today I’m going to talk about a question, an uncomfortable question that you should make a part of your life. It is going to really greatly improve your efficiency. The question is “How does this benefit me?” This is something that you should verbally say to other people when they come asking for things. In the book, I talked about a lot of wins and loss scenarios. Somebody wants you to do something for them and the reason this question is so important to me because there was a study done I’m sure you’ve heard of it were nurses at care centers made a list of the top 5 things that people regretted most about not doing. One of them was not saying the right thing at the right time, the right place for the right person. Typically, when people ask me for favors, it is usually pretty clear what they want but sometimes it is not clear what I am getting in return. This may be going to sound super arrogant or greedy. Sometimes it’s just a miscommunication, maybe there is a breakdown or maybe I did not understand what the benefit was. I’ve come to learn that when I ask this question to myself as well to another person, things become crystal clear very quickly. If somebody comes to you and asks you for your time or your knowledge or service or whatever it is without any kind of exchange, in some ways that should be viewed as they’re gonna take a little bit of advantage of you. I know this is going to make people disagree with me. But there was a time when I was in Alabama many years ago, I have a pickup truck and I helped some people move in my church. Word got that I have a truck and that I help people move. After a couple of months, I started getting phone calls almost every Saturday morning from people I didn’t even know asking to not only use my truck but to use me as well to help them move for free! For no pay! I eventually figured out what was going on and how this was getting out. I confronted the person to stop giving out my phone number to people to become a free moving service. Something I wish I would have done is just ask each of these individuals how would this benefit me. Because when you do that, you’re kind of exposing the person to acknowledging that you may not be getting anything in return. If they say it’s for experience or for charity or for service, they’re basically wasting your time. But if they say they are paying for it and you get the experience or do something for in return, then you have a fair and equal exchange.

It is brutal and almost slap in the face to ask somebody that question but in some cases, you can definitely clear up miscommunication, but it can kind exposes that they are trying to use you. So occasionally, I will ask that question if I don’t fully understand the offer or if I feel that they are asking for my time or money. That’s a really important question you’re gonna be given offers all time. You going to see these offers coming into your lap. One huge problem that I see is that there are individuals out there who can’t say no. For whatever reason, they just feel it’s mean or it’s wrong to say no when somebody comes and asks for help. I would say get comfortable saying no. Maintain that control, maintain your schedule. If you are not sure how you are benefiting from the requests, turn it down. This is definitely a great question to ask somebody when they come to you and it’s not really clear what you are getting out of it. “How will this benefit me?”

In any event, thank you guys for listening and I’ll see you next time!