K.Cox (12.08.08, 2:43 AM): All anyone wants is to feel understood, valued, and appreciated. An argument can be ended by simply saying, “ I had no idea that you felt this way”... or “I can see where this must have upset you”...
I have always explained to others... you really don't even need to apologize for “what you did" it’s the past, the apology is there to reassure that you did not intend for them to experience the emotion... “ I am sorry, I’m sure this must have made you think/feel”....
Either way you are connecting with someone, and offering a moment to say, I understand how you must have felt. Once we fell understood, the anger slips from our fingertips.
Eva (10.16.07, 11:03 PM): A hug and a kiss will do wonders:)
Elizabeth (10.11.07, 1:47 AM): Not married, and I suck at ending arguments...still working on that trick. My Mom would make my sister and I sing our arguments. The argument ended right when she would mention it. I don't know if that really fixed anything. Saying sorry is good on your part, but the biggest thing I have found is that I need to be willing to forgive the other person, even if they are wrong or did something wrong. You will never get anywhere if you can't forgive.
apple (10.09.07, 8:33 PM): If one of the people asks for some time alone- say 30 minutes to go for a walk or to just go think, for goodness sakes, give it to 'em!
Kim (10.09.07, 2:00 PM): It's very rare I end an argument, I have to get my point across because I feel that he just doesn't get it. Mark doesn't like to argue so it's rare but when we do he'll just stop talking and look at me then when I've finished and he's still silent I'll ask if he's mad at me and he'll say "no, i just figure you needed to blow off steam so I stopped talking."
apple (10.09.07, 9:31 AM): ooooh- singing of Love at Home by my mother used to make me sooo mad as a kid ;) I agree with Maria- a hug or a kiss is a good way to just break the tension!
Maria (10.09.07, 6:44 AM): I would say that most fighting in marriage is over petty things - There were two ways that I preferred to end arguments. When it got to the point of silliness and it obviously wasn't getting anywhere the next thing said by him was answered by me saying, "That deserves a kiss." I knew he was ready to end the argument when he actually responded to that. OR, there is the good 'ol nose to nose or cheek to cheek singing, "When there's love at home" That itself would get us laughing as well. (This also works great for parents with siblings who are fighting :)